If someone you love has been diagnosed with dementia, you were handed a life-changing role with almost no training. The medical system is built around patients who can remember, report, and advocate for themselves — which means dementia, by definition, often slips right through the cracks. And caregivers are left trying to make sense of confusing behavior on their own.
In this episode, Greg talks with Amy Shaw, palliative medicine practitioner and dementia care educator, about what the medical system routinely misses — and what caregivers actually need to know. Amy breaks down why dementia is predictable, not random, and how understanding the brain’s breakdown pattern can replace confusion and resentment with clarity and compassion.
You can also listen to the audio here. Also available on Spotify and Apple
Prefer reading? Get the episode transcript here:
About Amy Shaw
Amy Shaw is a palliative medicine practitioner, dementia care educator, and founder of Better Dementia. Her background spans primate cognition, wedding photography, urgent care, and cardiology — a path that gave her a uniquely human lens on one of medicine’s most misunderstood journeys.
She works privately with families, trains professional caregiving organizations, and has built an online course designed specifically for the busy, overwhelmed caregiver. Her book is forthcoming in 2027.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode
- Why the medical system is structurally designed to miss dementia — and why patients often appear fine in a clinical setting
- The “caregiver backpack” — the invisible emotional weight that builds when behavior goes unexplained
- Why dementia follows a predictable pattern, and how Amy’s four-stage framework helps caregivers locate where their loved one actually is
- The “cognitive detective” approach — working backward from behavior to brain to understand what’s really happening
- Dementia as an umbrella term — and why understanding Alzheimer’s disease (60–80% of cases) gives you the framework for understanding dementia overall
- Psychiatric symptoms, medication options, and how to have productive conversations with your medical team
- Navigating care decisions — home care, memory care facilities, hospice — and how to make them before a crisis forces your hand
- Why 1 in 5 working adults is also caring for someone with dementia — and what that means for organizations
- What self-care actually looks like on the caregiving journey — and why there’s no single right way to do this
Key Takeaways
Dementia is not random. It follows a pattern. When caregivers understand the stages and what’s breaking in the brain, confusion gives way to clarity.
Your loved one is not lying. Behaviors that look like manipulation or deception are a reflection of brain failure — not character.
Dementia may rob skills and abilities, but it will never take away humanity. Caregivers who understand the biology can show up with compassion instead of judgment.
There is no right way — only the way that’s right for you. What another caregiver chooses is not the standard. Your needs matter too.
You’re doing a good job. Amy’s message to every caregiver who has never heard those words.
Resources Mentioned
Website and Newsletter: betterdementia.com
Work with Amy 1 on 1
Amy’s forthcoming book — expected 2027
About the Host
I, Greg Cox, have been working in the wellness space for 20+ years and was a chef for 25 before that, often creating health meals for restaurants and as a private chef. I created the Rebellious Wellness Lifestyle Podcast to empower women to challenge the limitations society places on them as they age.
I believe in science without outsourcing intuition. In prevention over treatment. And in the radical act of remaining visible, engaged, and fully expressed at every age.
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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your treatment plan.